When You Learn That Your Child Has Diabetes

When you learn that your child has diabetes, you fall into a dark hole. But eventually, you find your way back out to the sunshine.

I woke up, and it felt like any other day. Then – bang – the memory slammed into my mind like a two-ton truck. I struggled to believe it was just a bad dream, but then I remembered the look on the doctor’s face and the words I’ll never forget: “Your child has diabetes.”

What? There must be some mistake. It was as though the doctor was speaking in another language, a foreign tongue I didn’t understand. I waited for him to say he was kidding, but he continued to talk about insulin, injections, blood-sugar readings, diet…. Meanwhile, I was still back at “What?”

We have no history of diabetes in our family, and I wasn’t really sure what the disease was all about. The days became a blur of blood tests, needles, carb-counting, meeting with nurses, talking to dietitians and, yes, being told of possible long-term horrors. Yet everyone was taking it so lightly, as if my 11- year-old son, Paul, had nothing worse than the flu.Why did I feel so devastated? Why did I feel like crying every minute of the day? Why did I feel as though I was in a trance and that it would all be over tomorrow?

First-year blues 

Many tomorrows have come and gone. Paul is now 17 and has had type 1 diabetes for nearly six years.The first year was the hardest. There was so much to get used to – no more sleeping in, no more long drives without preparation, no more school trips without lengthy instructions. Then there was the first time Paul cried to me about how much he hates having the disease. My whole body shuddered with the desire to take it from him and give it to myself.

I’ll never forget the day I got a call from the hospital saying that Paul had split open his head playing rugby and required stitches. Or, when he tore his anterior cruciate ligament and possibly faced surgery. Even his vomiting more than twice puts panic in my heart as I’ve been instructed to take him to Emergency.

But slowly, time softens the edges. Injections take seconds, not 30 minutes. Meals are easier to calculate. Gradually, Paul learned to accept his limitations and even to speak up for himself. Still, unthinking friends will occasionally make hurtful comments such as “He’ll grow out of it,” or “It could be worse.”You want to scream back “No, he won’t,” and “No, it couldn’t possibly be worse.”

A new perspective 

Then one day, I got a wake-up call. Tragically, a boy down the street, the same age as Paul, was hit and killed by a car. My heart broke for his family. I looked at Paul and thought, “Yesterday, I would have said that they’re the lucky ones because they have a healthy son. I am the unlucky one because mine has diabetes.” Paul is active in sports, gets on well at school, is involved with the church and took his girlfriend to the prom. I am indeed the lucky one!

Thanks to an insulin pump, our lives have become more normal than I ever dreamed possible. Yes, diabetes is still an issue that we must be aware of, and problems arise from time to time. But now I can actually go whole days without thinking of Paul’s diabetes.

So to all you parents who are new to your child having diabetes, I want you to know that there is a wonderful, rich, joy-filled life despite this disease. And perhaps one day down the road – who knows? – there may be life without diabetes.